Samantha looks taller.
I don't know the specific moment when it was exactly that I came to this conclusion. Was it the fact that I needed to buy her new dresses for the Jewish New Year when she sang on the bima for services at our temple, or was it when I was watching her this evening while she was preparing to take her shot this evening?
Samantha continues to refer to herself as "short", and she is compared to many of her peers. Although this process is daunting as a parent for countless reasons, I look forward to seeing how her body reacts to growth hormone therapy.
I am asked often the following questions:
1) how long will Samantha be taking growth hormones?
2) how much taller will she be from what she would have been had she not taken HGH?
3) how do you know it is working?
4) how do you know she would not be the same height had she not taken HGH?
5) how do you really know with 100 percent certainty that HGH won't "hurt" her in years to come?
The answers to all of these questions is simple: I don't know.
I do not like the answer "I don't know", especially when it has to do with my children's health. Studies have shown that 1 in 3,500 children in the US have growth hormone deficiency. I believe that this number is low and that more children are affected by this condition. In order to arrive at where we are today, we needed to:
- have her pediatrician who not only recognized that Samantha grew 3/4 of an inch from age 10 to 11 and that was not only much less than the average height a girl her age grows (which is 2.5 or more inches per year);
- have her pediatrician who compared her growth in height from age 10 to 11 to previous years and realized that she was not growing according to her "projected trajectory"
- agree to our pediatrican's request for Samantha to provide a blood sample to test for not only growth hormone levels as well as rule out other serious medical conditions,
- consult with an Endocronologist after receiving the news that Samantha's growth hormone levels were in less the 3rd percentile,
- have Samantha take a timed blood test which consisted of 4 blood tests every 30 minutes for 1.5 hours,
- have Samantha receive an MRI with contrast of her brain to verify she didn't have a tumor on her pituitary gland,
- apply for growth hormone therapy treatment through her insurance
- navigate though the bureaucracy of her insurance company provider in order to have them accept her application for growth hormone treatment,
- understand Samantha's "out of pocket" copy for speciality medication such as HGH,
- teach myself, my husband/her father, and Samantha how to administer her injections,
- answer questions from family and friends about growth hormone deficiency in a regular basis,
- listening to Samantha explain quite eloquently her condition to both adults and children,
- realizing that the process of taking HGH involves frequent visits to the Endocronologist, blood tests every 2 months, bone age x-rays every few months (yes, the medical bills add up quickly),
AND
- having to watch my 11 year old daughter take injections every single night for an unknown period of time. I thought it would get easier to watch as the days pass. It doesn't.
The list above isn't exhaustive of all the things we have done, learned, and come to terms with thus far in our journey to an unknown destination. It does exemplify a snapshot of the tremendous amount of time, research, financial commitment, and knowledge we have gained in order for Samantha to receive the benefit of taking HGH; and a benefit indeed it is.
The journey of raising children is a precious one; even with its many twists and turns. Some are anticipated and others come upon us unexpectedly. The quality of our navigation along the road is essential. We may get lost along the way; however so long as we return to the path we know is the right one, we will reach the destination we were set out to reach.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Monday, September 21, 2015
A Younger Brother's Perspective
As Samantha nears her 80th day, I continue to reflect the impact our journey has had upon our family, including Samantha's younger brother. He is about to turn 8 years old and is certainly not the tallest in his class. When Samantha first began taking growth hormone therapy, her brother could not believe she had the courage to take daily injections, let alone having the positive attitude she exudes while doing so.
Tonight, on the eve Samantha reaches 80 days, I asked Spencer whether he would take growth hormone therapy if his doctor recommended it. He replied, "Well, if it has to be done, it has to be done."
Well said little brother; what a wonderful way to support your big sister.
Tonight, on the eve Samantha reaches 80 days, I asked Spencer whether he would take growth hormone therapy if his doctor recommended it. He replied, "Well, if it has to be done, it has to be done."
Well said little brother; what a wonderful way to support your big sister.
X-Rays and Blood test: Post-Script from Mom
When Samantha sent me a picture of her x-Ray on Friday, it is true, I replied to her picture and text with "You have a beautiful hand." It was the first time that my husband took Samantha for lab work and I was not there. In the rush of attempting to have her x-Ray and blood test completed before her next exam, I did not realize how I would feel about not going with her. Yes, her father accompanied her and Samantha survived. The follow-up question was how her father and I felt about our continued path towards an unknown destination with our daughter taking growth hormone therapy for an unknown period of time.
I finally realized why the x-ray of her hand was so important to me. It reminded me of an ultrasound I had when I was about 16 weeks pregnant with Samantha. Looking back at the last 11.5 years it is no surprise that my pregnancy with Samantha was a high-risk one (why would anything be easy from the start?) During the ultrasound at week 16 I recall the technician looking to find what two weeks later we learned would be our baby girl.
At first the screen was black as the technician searched for any sign of movement; and out of the darkness came a SLAP on the screen we were watching. Five tiny fingers and cutest little palm I had ever seen appeared; it was as if Samantha had felt the vibration of the ultrasound, and in a way only Samantha can do, was making contact with the world.
As parents we all have memories which are imprinted in our mind and are ones we will never forget no matter how much time passes. Life is a series of events linked together, and that journey begins with one single step, and in Samantha's case, a hand reaching out to the world she would ultimately explore.
Thank you for caring about Samantha' journey.
I finally realized why the x-ray of her hand was so important to me. It reminded me of an ultrasound I had when I was about 16 weeks pregnant with Samantha. Looking back at the last 11.5 years it is no surprise that my pregnancy with Samantha was a high-risk one (why would anything be easy from the start?) During the ultrasound at week 16 I recall the technician looking to find what two weeks later we learned would be our baby girl.
At first the screen was black as the technician searched for any sign of movement; and out of the darkness came a SLAP on the screen we were watching. Five tiny fingers and cutest little palm I had ever seen appeared; it was as if Samantha had felt the vibration of the ultrasound, and in a way only Samantha can do, was making contact with the world.
As parents we all have memories which are imprinted in our mind and are ones we will never forget no matter how much time passes. Life is a series of events linked together, and that journey begins with one single step, and in Samantha's case, a hand reaching out to the world she would ultimately explore.
Thank you for caring about Samantha' journey.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
X-Ray and blood test
On Friday I got my second blood test and x-ray since I started growth hormone therapy.
I first had my blood test done. It was fine; the blood test hurt this time but I was okay in the end. My dad took a video and a picture. I think he was not supposed to do those two things and the lady who took my blood came up to my dad and said (in a weird voice), "You may not take pictures, she has a needle in her arm." The lady seemed "awkward", maybe that is just her I guess.
My x-ray went great. There was one person in front of me in the line and he let me go ahead of him. I needed to go to my school's homecoming game, so I went up to him and said, "May I please go in front of you, I have to go to a homecoming game for my school." He said "of course" and let me have my turn so I would not be late. The doctor came out and he said, "Samantha Haber" and I went in. At first I thought he was going to put a shot in my body, but instead he put a sticker that said, "Left" on the plate where I had to put my hand on for the x-ray. The x-ray was soon over.
My bone-age about 6 months ago was age 10, and I am actually 11 and a half. This x-ray will show my bone-age and see if it has changed. It probably didn't but we will see. I put a picture of my x-ray for you to see what one looks like. When I sent it to my mom she said, "You have a beautiful hand." :-)
In a week and a half I will be going to the doctor to get an update. I will keep you posted!
I first had my blood test done. It was fine; the blood test hurt this time but I was okay in the end. My dad took a video and a picture. I think he was not supposed to do those two things and the lady who took my blood came up to my dad and said (in a weird voice), "You may not take pictures, she has a needle in her arm." The lady seemed "awkward", maybe that is just her I guess.
My x-ray went great. There was one person in front of me in the line and he let me go ahead of him. I needed to go to my school's homecoming game, so I went up to him and said, "May I please go in front of you, I have to go to a homecoming game for my school." He said "of course" and let me have my turn so I would not be late. The doctor came out and he said, "Samantha Haber" and I went in. At first I thought he was going to put a shot in my body, but instead he put a sticker that said, "Left" on the plate where I had to put my hand on for the x-ray. The x-ray was soon over.
My bone-age about 6 months ago was age 10, and I am actually 11 and a half. This x-ray will show my bone-age and see if it has changed. It probably didn't but we will see. I put a picture of my x-ray for you to see what one looks like. When I sent it to my mom she said, "You have a beautiful hand." :-)
In a week and a half I will be going to the doctor to get an update. I will keep you posted!
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Normalizing the Unordinary (posting from Samantha's mom)
Our family spent an evening this week with two other families for dinner at our home. The evening was like all others; children running around the house playing and parents talking while preparing food for all to enjoy.
After dinner and while the adults were setting up for dessert, Samantha walked into the kitchen and announced "Ok, I am going to take my shot now." It was 7:30; the usual time she self-administers her growth hormone medication.
Samantha set up her "accessories" (alcohol wipes, biohazard waste disposal bin, sterile needle) in the same place she does every night; on our kitchen island. Instead of verbalizing that she should select an alternative location to take her medication, I realized that Samantha is doing everything she can to normalize this part her life instead of making it a frightening experience for her. This is one reason she blogs; to share her experience so that it is not as scary for her. Samantha shows anyone who is at our house at about 7:30pm how she takes her medication (yes, seriously...)
Although virtually all our friends and family are aware; it is rare when someone asks how Samantha is handling what is truly a monumental change in her life (both short and long term). Words cannot express our deep appreciation for those who genuinely care and ask how Samantha's growth hormone therapy is progressing. It is unlikely a routine experience for the average family; however it is certainly is an integral part of our daily life.
Just prior to Samantha showing our guests how she takes her shot, I was asked if Samantha self-administers her own medication. When I simply replied with "yes" he responded "that's awesome." I wholeheartedly agree.
After dinner and while the adults were setting up for dessert, Samantha walked into the kitchen and announced "Ok, I am going to take my shot now." It was 7:30; the usual time she self-administers her growth hormone medication.
Samantha set up her "accessories" (alcohol wipes, biohazard waste disposal bin, sterile needle) in the same place she does every night; on our kitchen island. Instead of verbalizing that she should select an alternative location to take her medication, I realized that Samantha is doing everything she can to normalize this part her life instead of making it a frightening experience for her. This is one reason she blogs; to share her experience so that it is not as scary for her. Samantha shows anyone who is at our house at about 7:30pm how she takes her medication (yes, seriously...)
When Samantha self-administered her shot that evening with an audience of 4-5 adults and 2-3 children I did not think twice about it; frankly because in our household this process has become our routine - our new "'normal." Her brother usually accompanies Samantha and I as I supervise to ensure she is taking the proper dosage and it is administered correctly.
One of Samantha's brother's friend happened to be right beside her, just as her own brother is nightly, when she began preparing to administer her injection. Right before his eyes, Samantha
injected herself with her medication (in her stomach) and thereafter handed the boy her "pen" with a needle sticking up from the top. I immediately took the pen, capped the needle, and Samantha safely disposed of it in her biohazard disposal bin.
Samantha usually gives her injection pen to her brother after she takes her medication to give to me for safe disposal of the needle, which is why she turned to her brother's friend and handed him the pen. It made perfect sense to her at the time, as well as to me. Upon further reflection I realized that this little boy likely felt bewildered by the experience as it was occurring. Thankfully, he was an excellent "pinch-hitter" and did not miss a beat!
Samantha usually gives her injection pen to her brother after she takes her medication to give to me for safe disposal of the needle, which is why she turned to her brother's friend and handed him the pen. It made perfect sense to her at the time, as well as to me. Upon further reflection I realized that this little boy likely felt bewildered by the experience as it was occurring. Thankfully, he was an excellent "pinch-hitter" and did not miss a beat!
Although virtually all our friends and family are aware; it is rare when someone asks how Samantha is handling what is truly a monumental change in her life (both short and long term). Words cannot express our deep appreciation for those who genuinely care and ask how Samantha's growth hormone therapy is progressing. It is unlikely a routine experience for the average family; however it is certainly is an integral part of our daily life.
Just prior to Samantha showing our guests how she takes her shot, I was asked if Samantha self-administers her own medication. When I simply replied with "yes" he responded "that's awesome." I wholeheartedly agree.
Friday, September 11, 2015
Seventy Days . . . Seriously?!?!
It has been 70 days of:
1) daily injections
2) growing pains
3) tracking progress
4) negotiating with insurance companies
5) ordering medication and supplies
6) updating doctors
7) learning to be patient
8) educating others
9) understanding one another more
10) appreciating life and those with whom we share it
. . . and we are thankful for having this experience.
Thank you for following Samantha's journey.
1) daily injections
2) growing pains
3) tracking progress
4) negotiating with insurance companies
5) ordering medication and supplies
6) updating doctors
7) learning to be patient
8) educating others
9) understanding one another more
10) appreciating life and those with whom we share it
. . . and we are thankful for having this experience.
Thank you for following Samantha's journey.
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
To a good friend . . .
This blog is dedicated to a good friend who I have known since I was in first grade. Tonight she is starting her growth hormone therapy injections and I am SO PROUD of her!
Just from writing my blog, I have gotten to know myself more. I know the very inside of myself. I have gotten to know more about other people, even more about my mom.
I can get judged by friends or other people because I take growth hormone shots. Have you ever heard the saying, "It does not matter what you look like, it matters what is in the inside." That is how I feel; it does not matter that I take shots. I am kind and loving to other people; that is what matters.
I have a pediatrician, and he told a patient of his to have her mother contact my mom so I can talk to her about growth hormone deficiency. I can also tell her that my endocrinologist, who is still as slow as a turtle, is very nice. I hope I am able to meet her soon so I can tell her that I am the one who told my parents that I really wanted to take growth hormones so I can be the height I am supposed to be (and that taking shots every night isn't bad at all.) I just finished day 66 of my shots.
I am so happy I can share my experiences with all of you and hope I am helping children and their families by writing on my blog.
Remember: send me your pictures this week of your locker so I can see how cool they are at seriouslysamanthag@gmail.com!
Just from writing my blog, I have gotten to know myself more. I know the very inside of myself. I have gotten to know more about other people, even more about my mom.
I can get judged by friends or other people because I take growth hormone shots. Have you ever heard the saying, "It does not matter what you look like, it matters what is in the inside." That is how I feel; it does not matter that I take shots. I am kind and loving to other people; that is what matters.
I have a pediatrician, and he told a patient of his to have her mother contact my mom so I can talk to her about growth hormone deficiency. I can also tell her that my endocrinologist, who is still as slow as a turtle, is very nice. I hope I am able to meet her soon so I can tell her that I am the one who told my parents that I really wanted to take growth hormones so I can be the height I am supposed to be (and that taking shots every night isn't bad at all.) I just finished day 66 of my shots.
I am so happy I can share my experiences with all of you and hope I am helping children and their families by writing on my blog.
Remember: send me your pictures this week of your locker so I can see how cool they are at seriouslysamanthag@gmail.com!
Monday, September 7, 2015
Student Council and my newest painting!
I was appointed to be a member of Student Council! I am SO excited!
I feel that I am a leader and I can't wait to be a representative for the 6th grade.
In my application I wrote that I love the fine arts and I take classes every Saturday. My newest painting is a puppy with a color palate.
What do you like to do outside of school? You can send me a message by commenting on my blog post or by emailing me at seriouslysamanthag@gmail.com!
I feel that I am a leader and I can't wait to be a representative for the 6th grade.
In my application I wrote that I love the fine arts and I take classes every Saturday. My newest painting is a puppy with a color palate.
What do you like to do outside of school? You can send me a message by commenting on my blog post or by emailing me at seriouslysamanthag@gmail.com!
Write to me!
I just got my first email address and I hope you write to me! Please send me your thoughts about school, friendships, and even just being "you." If you have a problem with a "bestie" I would love to hear about it because I have those same problems too.
My email address is seriouslysamanthag@gmail.com. Every week I will have a new theme, and this week is about lockers. I would love to hear about what decorations you have in your locker. If you are a parent reading this, you can write about your daughter or son's decorated locker, or even your locker that you had when you were in middle school. If you send me a picture of your locker I will post it on my blog (only if you write to me and tell me it is okay to post it.)
I hope to hear from you soon!
Seriously Samantha
My email address is seriouslysamanthag@gmail.com. Every week I will have a new theme, and this week is about lockers. I would love to hear about what decorations you have in your locker. If you are a parent reading this, you can write about your daughter or son's decorated locker, or even your locker that you had when you were in middle school. If you send me a picture of your locker I will post it on my blog (only if you write to me and tell me it is okay to post it.)
I hope to hear from you soon!
Seriously Samantha
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Seeing my Friend (and I am Nervous!)
OMG. I can't believe that my best friend won another soccer game! You go girl!
We were supposed to see my friend yesterday, but she had to wake up this morning at 6:00am to go to the soccer field; so that didn't work out. I was really unhappy because I could not see her and I was waiting ALL DAY. I found out this morning that she won her game this morning, AGAIN, which means she has another game this afternoon. Maybe can see her later this afternoon and I can sleep over because we don't have school tomorrow.
It is very important for me to see her because I miss her. I am nervous because what if we can't see her today? I have made a lot of friends at my new school; however there is only one really important friend to me. We live about 45 minutes from her, and I am able to see her only when my mom will drive me.
My mom is a really good driver, but it depends on how SHE feels. It usually takes us a long time to get out of the house, but I don't care! I really want to see her.
Do you have an important friend? Why is that person so important to you? Email me at seriouslysamanthag@gmail.com OR write a comment below; I would love to hear about your great friend!
We were supposed to see my friend yesterday, but she had to wake up this morning at 6:00am to go to the soccer field; so that didn't work out. I was really unhappy because I could not see her and I was waiting ALL DAY. I found out this morning that she won her game this morning, AGAIN, which means she has another game this afternoon. Maybe can see her later this afternoon and I can sleep over because we don't have school tomorrow.
It is very important for me to see her because I miss her. I am nervous because what if we can't see her today? I have made a lot of friends at my new school; however there is only one really important friend to me. We live about 45 minutes from her, and I am able to see her only when my mom will drive me.
My mom is a really good driver, but it depends on how SHE feels. It usually takes us a long time to get out of the house, but I don't care! I really want to see her.
Do you have an important friend? Why is that person so important to you? Email me at seriouslysamanthag@gmail.com OR write a comment below; I would love to hear about your great friend!
Saturday, September 5, 2015
School Locker "Issues" (and Chandeliers)
 |
| My Locker "Before" |
 | |||||||
| My Locker "After" |
I love my locker, but I want a pink fluffy rug. You can see that there is a blue rug in my locker on the bottom shelf. It is an "American Girl" rug and it is SO small. I don't like it. We tried to find a rug at "Target" and there were only chandeliers. My mom won't let me get a chandelier for my locker because she says it takes up too much room and it is not a good use of money. Please comment below and help me convince my mom that I should have a chandelier! If I get 20 comments she said "maybe" she will consider it.
Please send me a picture of your locker and I will post it on my blog so we can see different pictures of how people decorate their lockers! You can send your pictures to my new email address at seriouslysamanthag@gmail.com. I promise to only put the picture and whatever you want to say about your locker. My mom and I won't put anyone's last name or email address. You can also tell me about your locker by posting a comment below; I would love to hear about everyone's decorations!
I am about to take my shot. Wish me good luck!
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Making New Friends
OMG . . .
Sixth grade is SO HARD. I don't mean "hard" that the work is hard; well, the work is hard however the friends are even harder!
I feel like I am invisible. Literally invisible, like they don't hear me. I try to talk to them but they don't answer back, they walk away. I am "sadness" in the movie "Inside Out". I want to be "Joy!"
I usually don't base myself in a character in a movie, but in the last few days I have. It has literally been torture making friends at my new school. Everyone is ignoring me.
I lost something the other day; my friendship with my best friend. One of my "best friends" is hanging out with other girls. I try to hang out with all of them and they don't even talk to me when I am with them.
The whole point of making friends is to stick with them.
You need someone right by your side. If it is your brother or sister, that is perfect. My brother is perfect (although he is very annoying!) Sometimes I don't like him, but he is always there to support me.
It does not matter what is on the outside, it matters what is in the inside of you. I just finished the book "Wonder." It is my favorite book because I love how the main character has a deformed face and even though he is bullied he stands up for what he believes in. He does not bully other people. As my brother says, "pick on someone your own size!"
I have learned that if your friends are not paying attention to you, they are not your real friends. They can be jealous of you or upset with themselves. People may think of me and say "I can control Samantha. She keeps saying 'sorry' and she looks sad," however I am not. I am disappointed that people don't understand me and they don't care about other people's feelings.
If people are rude to me, then I need to go find someone else to hang out with; not the same people every single day. Remember, even if you are 39, 60 or even 11, people can still bully you . . . you just probably won't get bullied as much as I do.
My mom is 42. To me, she looks like she is 23. To other people she might look like she is 100. Maybe she even looks like she is 19. As I say, it does not matter what is on the outside, it matters what is in the inside.
The next time you get bullied, remember, go hang out with someone else and tell them to STOP . . . and walk away. You don't want mean people in your life, I choose not to have them in mine.
Sixth grade is SO HARD. I don't mean "hard" that the work is hard; well, the work is hard however the friends are even harder!
I feel like I am invisible. Literally invisible, like they don't hear me. I try to talk to them but they don't answer back, they walk away. I am "sadness" in the movie "Inside Out". I want to be "Joy!"
I usually don't base myself in a character in a movie, but in the last few days I have. It has literally been torture making friends at my new school. Everyone is ignoring me.
I lost something the other day; my friendship with my best friend. One of my "best friends" is hanging out with other girls. I try to hang out with all of them and they don't even talk to me when I am with them.
The whole point of making friends is to stick with them.
You need someone right by your side. If it is your brother or sister, that is perfect. My brother is perfect (although he is very annoying!) Sometimes I don't like him, but he is always there to support me.
It does not matter what is on the outside, it matters what is in the inside of you. I just finished the book "Wonder." It is my favorite book because I love how the main character has a deformed face and even though he is bullied he stands up for what he believes in. He does not bully other people. As my brother says, "pick on someone your own size!"
I have learned that if your friends are not paying attention to you, they are not your real friends. They can be jealous of you or upset with themselves. People may think of me and say "I can control Samantha. She keeps saying 'sorry' and she looks sad," however I am not. I am disappointed that people don't understand me and they don't care about other people's feelings.
If people are rude to me, then I need to go find someone else to hang out with; not the same people every single day. Remember, even if you are 39, 60 or even 11, people can still bully you . . . you just probably won't get bullied as much as I do.
My mom is 42. To me, she looks like she is 23. To other people she might look like she is 100. Maybe she even looks like she is 19. As I say, it does not matter what is on the outside, it matters what is in the inside.
The next time you get bullied, remember, go hang out with someone else and tell them to STOP . . . and walk away. You don't want mean people in your life, I choose not to have them in mine.
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