Body Image

In seventh grade my mother told me you can have an Instagram account but you can’t have Snapchat. In seventh grade I signed up for Instagram. In eighth grade I started using Snapchat. These were a couple of the worst decisions I’ve made in my life. 

Some parents say, “sure you can have social media accounts” and others tell their kids, “you need to wait until you’re older or you may never get it.“

These past few years of being on social media has not really negatively affected me until this year. 

The one major thing that teenagers stress about is body image. Body image is one of the hardest topics for teenage girls. I think the subject of body image really hits girls when we are around 16 or 17. I am 16. One of the hardest things to look at on social media is looking at the pretty girls you go with to school with wearing bikinis. They look gorgeous, and you look at your photos or in the mirror and shame yourself for not looking as good as you think your friends do.

Every girl has these feelings at this age, I have and have these thoughts every day. It would be amazing to eat any type of food without gaining weight or having to work out. What I’ve learned recently is to be able to achieve the body you want you need to be able to work for it, and that means working out every single day and eating healthy foods. I don’t believe in a strict diet that beats you to your core because I just think it hurts you in the long run. My opinion is that you should eat whatever makes you happy. Eat healthy and make sure that whatever you put in your body is good for you. You can’t just eat healthy for the rest your life and think that your body will magically be perfect, you need to work out and be active. 

So far during this quarantine I have pushed off working out and I thought that if I just did not eat a lot I would lose weight. This has not worked. In the last week I’ve been going on runs, going on a stationary bicycle for 30 minutes, and doing ab and thigh workouts. 

I have a goal for myself. It isn’t to look a specific way or like a certain person. My goal is to feel confident in what I wear, how I wear it, and to feel healthy inside and out. My body won’t change from working out and eating healthy in just a week. I know it will take a couple of months, but I’m dedicated to doing it. 

Everybody is different in their own way and I believe that’s a good thing. Everyone should not have the same body. We should treat our bodies the way we want them to look as long as what we do is healthy and safe.

There are many quotes from famous people about body image and loving yourself. These are quotes i read to myself every single day and this is what gets me through being too self-conscious about the way I feel about how I look.

 “You have to just accept your body. You may not love it all the way, but you just have to be comfortable with it, comfortable with knowing that it is your own body.” Rihanna

“Dear Body,

No matter what strangers and loved ones say, no matter which step is in your journey, no matter what shape you are in..... I will always love you.”

This last poem is one I found a long time ago that has been in my photos of memories for a very long 

time.

“Love your body”

Look at your hands, they have pets so many cute animals and dried so many of your tears.
Look at your feet, they have walked you to some of your favorite places and walked you away from the bad ones.
Look at your belly, think of the days when it’s been full and warm with your favorite foods.
Look at your legs, they’ve held you up when you thought you weren’t strong enough to stand.
Look at your eyes, they have seen so many beautiful people.
Look at your mouth, it is told so many people that you love them.

Your body has been there for you since day one; love it because it loves you.

 

Just Some Blankness

Somethings off. I don’t know what it is and I’m really confused. I think the things that make me happy in the moment don’t bring me any joy. I don’t know if I can blame my confusion on this virus. Last week I was so happy and I thought of so many happy things in my life, and now nothing is bringing me joy.  I still have the motivation to do my work because I know that it’s due and I need to get it done but everything else is just blank to me. Maybe next week I’ll find what I’m looking for even though I don’t even know what I’m trying to look for. 

All I need to do right now is keep my head up high and think of the positive things in my life. I try to think of the things that have brought me joy in the past and make the situation I am in now one where I can find some joy in it.  At the end of the day I know everything‘s going to be OK. 

It’s just weird to think I might not be going back to school this year and the next time I’ll step on my school campus will be when I am in 11th grade. It’s crazy how fast my high school experience has gone by. I need to spend more time focusing on the “now” moments, which kind of sucks because I absolutely hate being in quarantine. I’m getting through it one week at a time and will see where it leads me. 

Realizing Things

It is Wednesday, April 23. 

Spring break has just ended and I’m back to online learning. These past few weeks I’ve noticed that online learning has changed the way I study and complete assignments. I’ve been much more dedicated to my work lately. Since I have nothing to do in the house and I’m bored all day so I decide to get all my work done right on the spot. As for quizzes and tests, I haven’t had a lot. If I have one or two I study in advance for them a lot more than I would usually do and I’ve gotten 100% on almost every single quiz and test I’ve taken, even math! To be honest, I think this online learning process has changed me for the better because of how I have improved my work habits. 

The experience of being quarantined in my house and taking online classes instead of being at school has made me appreciate much more things in life. I appreciate my family so much more for all that they do for me. Our country’s unemployment rate is 55%. Both of my parents are working. My mom is a lawyer and my dad owns his own business as a general contractor. I’m very lucky person to have two parents who are working and are dedicated to their careers during this time. I realize more now how much my parents have done for me in the past and are still doing so much for me. 

Something that I have not missed by being in quarantine are the bus rides to school. Every single day before school and after school I would take the bus because my parents couldn’t drive me to school and I didn’t have a driver’s license yet. Now I have a license and when we start back up at school I’ll be able to drive my own car. I have been waiting to be a licensed driver and not ride the bus every single day since I was in sixth grade. It will be weird not having to ride the bus every single morning and afternoon for 45 minutes. 

I am just praying that everyone can do their duty by staying inside and being safe so this world can get better and we can go back to normal daily routines.

What's Your Duty?

“she’s the type of woman who needs alone time. She feels deep, she feels even deeper. Her alone time allows her to figure out her mood, where her energy is, and how to take each step in life.” This quote really stood out to me. Last night I was in my room and I was thinking about so many things that were happening in this world right now, thinking about things that I didn’t even need to worry about. Being in this time of Quarantine I feel hard it has brought a lot of self-reflection to the table. I’ve had moments in Quarantine where I’ve just sat on my bed or sat in a chair and just looked out the window and sucked in all the peace and all the quiet and just thought. I feel this is a necessary time for lots of people right now to just think. Think about what’s happening right now where are you stand in this world,what’s your duty.  Right now sitting in my chair I know that my duty is to stay inside and protect my family from the outside world. The outside world is pretty crazy right now. Another one of my duties is school. Now for some other people there, duty might be work. Everyone has a different duty currently in this world. And I feel it’s important to just think. This is a moment to make sure that you are OK that you are in a healthy state and if you’re not in a healthy state right now which there are probably lots of people that are not in a healthy state currently try to fix that, resolve your problem see how you can come to a healthy state. Think positive and keep yourself safe.

Only a Teenager Once

“Eat pizza for breakfast, dye your hair, book the flight, don’t count calories, buy the shoes, kiss a stranger, ride with the top down, get extra guac, support your local girl gang, buy yourself flowers, eat your veggies, create something, order dessert, call your mom, wake up early, cry it out, dance till 4 AM, believe in magic, visit your grandparents, wear lipstick, don’t let boys be mean to you, smile at strangers, be spontaneous, say I love you, embrace your messy hair, be in the moment, create your own damn happiness!” 
I read this quote and I sat for a minute wondering what this was about. But once I read it out loud it became clear to me. Live your life to the fullest while you can. I feel this is a big call to teenagers in this world indicating that you’re only a teenager once and one day you’ll be an adult with kids maybe and a husband and you won’t be able to do the things you were able to do back then. It might sound crazy to live life to the fullest and do whatever you want, but make your own happiness and live in the moment. Do what your heart desires don’t let anyone push you down. Lots of teenagers struggle with trying to find happiness in this world but it’s really simple on how to find happiness because it’s right in front of you. This post goes out to all teenage girls that are afraid to try something new and live life without weight on your shoulders. Because one day you won’t be able to go back and you’ll regret what you didn’t do. So do the things that you wanna do and be who you are and create your own happiness.

My Opinion On What Life Will Be Like After the COVID-19 Virus

Right now in America, there is a global pandemic happening. Life has hit many people recently. I believe that our world we live in from now on will be much more cautious. The changes made now in markets, and stores hopefully will stay the same to better the safety of costumers. Lately we have been stuck in our homes, some of us have been on LA county lockdown. I have been realizing the greatness of nature and sunshine in the outdoors, while going on walks with family. Therefore hopefully people will start to value the sunshine, nature, and bonding with family from now on. People hopefully will be much safer for when they get sick, they might stay home instead of going to work. People might keep their hands to their selves more often. LAUSD and private schools might offer online resources for people that are homesick. My personal routines have changed in my every day life. I have always hated school and from now on, I am going to cherish every moment of it with friends and teachers. Last week I drove myself down to my high school so when school begins again I will be able to know the route to get from my house to school. While driving past school my heart stopped and I realized that I miss school with all my heart and I do call it my second home. Hopefully from now on life itself will be more sanitary and people will be much more grateful for the little things in life.

Some Weird Thinking

It is currently Wednesday, April 15 and this is about to be a pretty weird post. My whole life I’ve watched those movies of two teenagers falling in love, having those weird moments together, sometimes mysterious and learning how much they have in common. And just recently, I questioned, what does it feel like to feel loved? To have someone by your side, to have someone to kiss you and tell you that you’re beautiful and pretty? I feel as you grow up you find different parts of yourself like who you really are. This 2020 quarantine has really changed me. I changed my style and learning how to be more confident. I changed the way I work like my work habits. I’ve made goals for myself and how I’m going to achieve them. I’ve changed the way I act around friends based on the way I want them to respect me and the way that I respect them. I feel as if I’m a whole new person. I feel this way partly on how the way that I can drive on my own now. I feel like a part of me has been unlocked and that’s the part that’s been locked for 16 years which is freedom. I feel with freedom you have more confidence you can find who you truly are and with confidence just maybe you can find your soulmate. In grammar school, it used to be “oh I have a crush” it’s never been “I’m truly infatuated with them.” I wonder what life would be like if I was infatuated with someone if I had someone by my side. Of course, I have my family and my friends by my side. But what if I had someone by my side who I was truly into them and whenever I was around them butterflies would shutter in my stomach and I would blush. This is all the stuff that goes on in my head when I sleep or I am trying to go to sleep. I have to stop watching these romance movies because I’m falling into a pit here. I need to get out and show everyone who the new me is. As everyone says you’ll find true love when you find it is a process that cannot be rushed. I can’t say I believe in “true love at first sight” because I’ve never experienced it, hopefully, one day I will. Hopefully, I’ll find someone, one day that will love me for who I am like how my parents love each other for who they are. My mother was very lucky to find someone who loves her. They are living a great life together and are very happy. All teens say they want to find a boy, they want a boyfriend, but it’s not just that to me. I want butterflies in my stomach, I want to look at him with true eyes, I want someone where we laugh and look up at the stars, and it will be hard to find someone but I know I can’t rush the process. These are just dreams, things I think in my head all the time and this is just one of the subjects that runs through my mind every day.

Reflecting on the Positives and the Negitives in Life

It is currently Tuesday, April 14, 8:32 PM. I’m sitting in my bed right now reflecting on these past four weeks of online school. Spring break has just started. Lately, I have been weighing the positive and negative things in my life. 

For example, some of the positive things are I will be able to get higher than a 4.0 GPA this semester. In my educational career, I have never been able to accomplish this goal and I am very excited about this chance. From the help of my teachers and my own drive and hard work, I have been able to accomplish this from the start of the spring semester through my 10-week quarter grades (before online school began.) 

I have also actually been getting a lot closer to my family. We have had cooking nights, movie times, and walks. Something that I have also learned is how to work out and get exercise. I feel working out and getting exercise is very important for all of us due to us sitting inside most of the day. 

However, there also been some negatives of being home for many weeks unable to leave. I really do miss my friends. Luckily, I am on FaceTime with them every single night. Something that really hit me the other day was when I found out that as of a few days ago if you are found on the streets of L.A. or in a grocery store without a mask on you will be fined with $1000. It is just crazy what this world has come to. Something that also struck me like a lightning bolt was that I was at Trader Joe’s almost 3 days ago and last night at that same Trader Joe’s an employee tested positive for the COVID-19 virus.

Currently, at this time in my life, I am keeping my head held high hoping that everyone is safe. I am trying new things out in my life and trying to become a better me. I am learning new things that I never knew I was capable of doing.

I would like to share this poem my mother read to me.

This poem was written in 1869 by Kathleen O’Mara.

It was reprinted during the 1919 Pandemic. It sounds just as relevant today.

And people stayed at home

And read books

And listened

And they rested

And did exercises

And made art and played

And learned new ways of being

And stopped and listened

More deeply

Someone meditated, someone prayed

Someone met their shadow

And people began to think differently

And people healed.

And in the absence of people who

Lived in ignorant ways

Dangerous, meaningless and heartless,

The earth also began to heal

And when the danger ended and

People found themselves

They grieved for the dead

And made new choices

And dreamed of new visions

And created new ways of living

And completely healed the earth

Just as they were healed.