Day by Day (from Mom)

A Note from Mom:

We are now at over 125 days and one day has become to blend into the next.  I say "we" because this experience had become one Samantha and I share every night.

I am not the one who physically is receiving growth hormone therapy, nor am I the one who routinely administers Samantha's shots to her. Who I am is her mother; the cheerleader, the one who dries her tears of frustration and worry, the mother who watches her daughter give herself her own shots night after night...

Two nights ago Samantha, my strong and dedicated daughter who is the biggest self-advocate in so many ways, fell to the floor after I administered her shot. If memory serves me right, this was the first time I have seen her cry after taking her medication in 4 months. She weeped and said "it huts. That needle was so sharp." Apparently, not all needles feel the same. After over 125 consecutive shots one begins to be able to tell the difference. My heart sank.

This is what our lives will be like for likely at least two years, maybe more. There is no "end date" one can mark in a calendar and say "don't worry you only have 653 days to go." Growth hormone therapy continues until a person's bones fuse. We know when that time comes upon us once we see an x-Ray showing such.

I admire Samantha, for she is much stronger of a person than I. She genuinely and consistently smiles  ALL the time and has a far better outlook than most about the difficulties in overcoming adversity.

As I write, tears stream down my face for countless reasons. This is a long journey and Samantha has a long way to travel. I'm unbelievably grateful she has this opportunity; however some days are easier than others. Samantha undergoes this therapy while being a 6th grade student in a new middle school.   Being an almost 12 year old girl brings its own sets of challenges WITHOUT growth hormone therapy; and Samantha has added to her plate regular visits to doctors, blood testing, and x-Rays regularly in addition to her daily treatment. What is amazing is that she does it all with such grace and with a sense of humor that only Samantha can exhibit.

To Samantha, "it's all in a day's work."
As her mother, I worry endlessly that I am making the right decisions for Samantha and our family as a whole.

I know in my heart all will work itself out and we will look back upon this experience without any regrets. I just need to remind myself to take each day as it comes, just like Samantha does.

Who knew that one of the people I would learn most from at this point in my life would be my own 11 year-old daughter...


Dearest Samantha,
"I love you more than a bee loves a rose."
Xoxo
Mom