Realizing Things

It is Wednesday, April 23. 

Spring break has just ended and I’m back to online learning. These past few weeks I’ve noticed that online learning has changed the way I study and complete assignments. I’ve been much more dedicated to my work lately. Since I have nothing to do in the house and I’m bored all day so I decide to get all my work done right on the spot. As for quizzes and tests, I haven’t had a lot. If I have one or two I study in advance for them a lot more than I would usually do and I’ve gotten 100% on almost every single quiz and test I’ve taken, even math! To be honest, I think this online learning process has changed me for the better because of how I have improved my work habits. 

The experience of being quarantined in my house and taking online classes instead of being at school has made me appreciate much more things in life. I appreciate my family so much more for all that they do for me. Our country’s unemployment rate is 55%. Both of my parents are working. My mom is a lawyer and my dad owns his own business as a general contractor. I’m very lucky person to have two parents who are working and are dedicated to their careers during this time. I realize more now how much my parents have done for me in the past and are still doing so much for me. 

Something that I have not missed by being in quarantine are the bus rides to school. Every single day before school and after school I would take the bus because my parents couldn’t drive me to school and I didn’t have a driver’s license yet. Now I have a license and when we start back up at school I’ll be able to drive my own car. I have been waiting to be a licensed driver and not ride the bus every single day since I was in sixth grade. It will be weird not having to ride the bus every single morning and afternoon for 45 minutes. 

I am just praying that everyone can do their duty by staying inside and being safe so this world can get better and we can go back to normal daily routines.

What's Your Duty?

“she’s the type of woman who needs alone time. She feels deep, she feels even deeper. Her alone time allows her to figure out her mood, where her energy is, and how to take each step in life.” This quote really stood out to me. Last night I was in my room and I was thinking about so many things that were happening in this world right now, thinking about things that I didn’t even need to worry about. Being in this time of Quarantine I feel hard it has brought a lot of self-reflection to the table. I’ve had moments in Quarantine where I’ve just sat on my bed or sat in a chair and just looked out the window and sucked in all the peace and all the quiet and just thought. I feel this is a necessary time for lots of people right now to just think. Think about what’s happening right now where are you stand in this world,what’s your duty.  Right now sitting in my chair I know that my duty is to stay inside and protect my family from the outside world. The outside world is pretty crazy right now. Another one of my duties is school. Now for some other people there, duty might be work. Everyone has a different duty currently in this world. And I feel it’s important to just think. This is a moment to make sure that you are OK that you are in a healthy state and if you’re not in a healthy state right now which there are probably lots of people that are not in a healthy state currently try to fix that, resolve your problem see how you can come to a healthy state. Think positive and keep yourself safe.

Only a Teenager Once

“Eat pizza for breakfast, dye your hair, book the flight, don’t count calories, buy the shoes, kiss a stranger, ride with the top down, get extra guac, support your local girl gang, buy yourself flowers, eat your veggies, create something, order dessert, call your mom, wake up early, cry it out, dance till 4 AM, believe in magic, visit your grandparents, wear lipstick, don’t let boys be mean to you, smile at strangers, be spontaneous, say I love you, embrace your messy hair, be in the moment, create your own damn happiness!” 
I read this quote and I sat for a minute wondering what this was about. But once I read it out loud it became clear to me. Live your life to the fullest while you can. I feel this is a big call to teenagers in this world indicating that you’re only a teenager once and one day you’ll be an adult with kids maybe and a husband and you won’t be able to do the things you were able to do back then. It might sound crazy to live life to the fullest and do whatever you want, but make your own happiness and live in the moment. Do what your heart desires don’t let anyone push you down. Lots of teenagers struggle with trying to find happiness in this world but it’s really simple on how to find happiness because it’s right in front of you. This post goes out to all teenage girls that are afraid to try something new and live life without weight on your shoulders. Because one day you won’t be able to go back and you’ll regret what you didn’t do. So do the things that you wanna do and be who you are and create your own happiness.

My Opinion On What Life Will Be Like After the COVID-19 Virus

Right now in America, there is a global pandemic happening. Life has hit many people recently. I believe that our world we live in from now on will be much more cautious. The changes made now in markets, and stores hopefully will stay the same to better the safety of costumers. Lately we have been stuck in our homes, some of us have been on LA county lockdown. I have been realizing the greatness of nature and sunshine in the outdoors, while going on walks with family. Therefore hopefully people will start to value the sunshine, nature, and bonding with family from now on. People hopefully will be much safer for when they get sick, they might stay home instead of going to work. People might keep their hands to their selves more often. LAUSD and private schools might offer online resources for people that are homesick. My personal routines have changed in my every day life. I have always hated school and from now on, I am going to cherish every moment of it with friends and teachers. Last week I drove myself down to my high school so when school begins again I will be able to know the route to get from my house to school. While driving past school my heart stopped and I realized that I miss school with all my heart and I do call it my second home. Hopefully from now on life itself will be more sanitary and people will be much more grateful for the little things in life.

Some Weird Thinking

It is currently Wednesday, April 15 and this is about to be a pretty weird post. My whole life I’ve watched those movies of two teenagers falling in love, having those weird moments together, sometimes mysterious and learning how much they have in common. And just recently, I questioned, what does it feel like to feel loved? To have someone by your side, to have someone to kiss you and tell you that you’re beautiful and pretty? I feel as you grow up you find different parts of yourself like who you really are. This 2020 quarantine has really changed me. I changed my style and learning how to be more confident. I changed the way I work like my work habits. I’ve made goals for myself and how I’m going to achieve them. I’ve changed the way I act around friends based on the way I want them to respect me and the way that I respect them. I feel as if I’m a whole new person. I feel this way partly on how the way that I can drive on my own now. I feel like a part of me has been unlocked and that’s the part that’s been locked for 16 years which is freedom. I feel with freedom you have more confidence you can find who you truly are and with confidence just maybe you can find your soulmate. In grammar school, it used to be “oh I have a crush” it’s never been “I’m truly infatuated with them.” I wonder what life would be like if I was infatuated with someone if I had someone by my side. Of course, I have my family and my friends by my side. But what if I had someone by my side who I was truly into them and whenever I was around them butterflies would shutter in my stomach and I would blush. This is all the stuff that goes on in my head when I sleep or I am trying to go to sleep. I have to stop watching these romance movies because I’m falling into a pit here. I need to get out and show everyone who the new me is. As everyone says you’ll find true love when you find it is a process that cannot be rushed. I can’t say I believe in “true love at first sight” because I’ve never experienced it, hopefully, one day I will. Hopefully, I’ll find someone, one day that will love me for who I am like how my parents love each other for who they are. My mother was very lucky to find someone who loves her. They are living a great life together and are very happy. All teens say they want to find a boy, they want a boyfriend, but it’s not just that to me. I want butterflies in my stomach, I want to look at him with true eyes, I want someone where we laugh and look up at the stars, and it will be hard to find someone but I know I can’t rush the process. These are just dreams, things I think in my head all the time and this is just one of the subjects that runs through my mind every day.

Reflecting on the Positives and the Negitives in Life

It is currently Tuesday, April 14, 8:32 PM. I’m sitting in my bed right now reflecting on these past four weeks of online school. Spring break has just started. Lately, I have been weighing the positive and negative things in my life. 

For example, some of the positive things are I will be able to get higher than a 4.0 GPA this semester. In my educational career, I have never been able to accomplish this goal and I am very excited about this chance. From the help of my teachers and my own drive and hard work, I have been able to accomplish this from the start of the spring semester through my 10-week quarter grades (before online school began.) 

I have also actually been getting a lot closer to my family. We have had cooking nights, movie times, and walks. Something that I have also learned is how to work out and get exercise. I feel working out and getting exercise is very important for all of us due to us sitting inside most of the day. 

However, there also been some negatives of being home for many weeks unable to leave. I really do miss my friends. Luckily, I am on FaceTime with them every single night. Something that really hit me the other day was when I found out that as of a few days ago if you are found on the streets of L.A. or in a grocery store without a mask on you will be fined with $1000. It is just crazy what this world has come to. Something that also struck me like a lightning bolt was that I was at Trader Joe’s almost 3 days ago and last night at that same Trader Joe’s an employee tested positive for the COVID-19 virus.

Currently, at this time in my life, I am keeping my head held high hoping that everyone is safe. I am trying new things out in my life and trying to become a better me. I am learning new things that I never knew I was capable of doing.

I would like to share this poem my mother read to me.

This poem was written in 1869 by Kathleen O’Mara.

It was reprinted during the 1919 Pandemic. It sounds just as relevant today.

And people stayed at home

And read books

And listened

And they rested

And did exercises

And made art and played

And learned new ways of being

And stopped and listened

More deeply

Someone meditated, someone prayed

Someone met their shadow

And people began to think differently

And people healed.

And in the absence of people who

Lived in ignorant ways

Dangerous, meaningless and heartless,

The earth also began to heal

And when the danger ended and

People found themselves

They grieved for the dead

And made new choices

And dreamed of new visions

And created new ways of living

And completely healed the earth

Just as they were healed.

Self- Conscious

What is being self-conscious? Feeling undo awareness of oneself, one’s appearance, or one’s actions.

I feel growing up every single teenager goes through being self-conscious. I’m in that stage, I’m 16 and I’m 100% self-conscious.  To be honest I hate being self-conscious. Every morning in the mirror, and look at myself and I point out all my flaws. I go to school knowing what I pointed out on my body in the mirror and it breaks my heart.  I go to the mall with friends and if I walk around and see people looking at me I hold my stomach in. Whenever someone is staring at me I automatically think they’re pointing out all the flaws on my body, but really it’s just my head getting to me. 

I wish I could be totally confident and say to myself my body is perfect, my legs are the perfect shape , I love my face, and my hair is gorgeous (which people tell me all the time and I don’t believe them.) I can’t say all these compliments to myself that because I’m a teenager and at times I disagree with it it. I’m currently learning how to love my body and love who I am.

One of my teachers told me the following: everyone is different, everyone has a different body, everyone eats different foods, everyone lives differently, everyone is unique. All human beings weren’t made out to be the same, if everyone was the same it would be completely boring. Everyone is their own person and unique in their own way. 

YOU, those reading my post, are unique and are beautiful in your own way! 

Quote of the day: 

You are worthy.

You are capable.

You are beautiful.

Book the ticket.

Write the book.

Create the dream.

Celebrate yourself.

Rule your Queendom!

Much love: Seriously Samantha <3