A Note from Mom:
We are now at over 125 days and one day has become to blend into the next. I say "we" because this experience had become one Samantha and I share every night.
I am not the one who physically is receiving growth hormone therapy, nor am I the one who routinely administers Samantha's shots to her. Who I am is her mother; the cheerleader, the one who dries her tears of frustration and worry, the mother who watches her daughter give herself her own shots night after night...
Two nights ago Samantha, my strong and dedicated daughter who is the biggest self-advocate in so many ways, fell to the floor after I administered her shot. If memory serves me right, this was the first time I have seen her cry after taking her medication in 4 months. She weeped and said "it huts. That needle was so sharp." Apparently, not all needles feel the same. After over 125 consecutive shots one begins to be able to tell the difference. My heart sank.
This is what our lives will be like for likely at least two years, maybe more. There is no "end date" one can mark in a calendar and say "don't worry you only have 653 days to go." Growth hormone therapy continues until a person's bones fuse. We know when that time comes upon us once we see an x-Ray showing such.
I admire Samantha, for she is much stronger of a person than I. She genuinely and consistently smiles ALL the time and has a far better outlook than most about the difficulties in overcoming adversity.
As I write, tears stream down my face for countless reasons. This is a long journey and Samantha has a long way to travel. I'm unbelievably grateful she has this opportunity; however some days are easier than others. Samantha undergoes this therapy while being a 6th grade student in a new middle school. Being an almost 12 year old girl brings its own sets of challenges WITHOUT growth hormone therapy; and Samantha has added to her plate regular visits to doctors, blood testing, and x-Rays regularly in addition to her daily treatment. What is amazing is that she does it all with such grace and with a sense of humor that only Samantha can exhibit.
To Samantha, "it's all in a day's work."
As her mother, I worry endlessly that I am making the right decisions for Samantha and our family as a whole.
I know in my heart all will work itself out and we will look back upon this experience without any regrets. I just need to remind myself to take each day as it comes, just like Samantha does.
Who knew that one of the people I would learn most from at this point in my life would be my own 11 year-old daughter...
Dearest Samantha,
"I love you more than a bee loves a rose."
Xoxo
Mom
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Monday, November 9, 2015
S.O.A.R.
Today I was featured in my middle school's electronic newspaper section called "S.O.A.R" (Students Outside Achievement Report.)
I was so proud of myself because I feel like I have a really good message to give others.
I am lucky that I go to a great school and have so much support from my family and friends. No matter how old you are, YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THIS WORLD!
I was so proud of myself because I feel like I have a really good message to give others.
I am lucky that I go to a great school and have so much support from my family and friends. No matter how old you are, YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THIS WORLD!
I want an "8-pack"!
Tryouts are for the wrestling team are this week. I know I really don't have enough time; I am on student council, part of the art and chess club, am part of my school's choir, and have a LOT of homework each week.
I would like to be part of the wrestling team and be able to express my anger in a positive way and not fight with my brother. If I do actually try out and get on the wrestling team I promise my brother I won't use any of my new "moves" on him!
I would like to be part of the wrestling team and be able to express my anger in a positive way and not fight with my brother. If I do actually try out and get on the wrestling team I promise my brother I won't use any of my new "moves" on him!
I was on KTLA 5 News!
About a week ago I was on KTLA 5 News!
I submitted a video to the news station that I have Growth Hormone Deficiency and that I started a blog to inspire people to accept themselves for who they are and not be afraid to be unique. I was then told they would show my video on TV! I had a legal question for them, which was whether I was able to give advice on my blog to people who write to me?
KTLA 5 News has a show called "Legal Smart" and the lawyer on the show is Alison Triessl. She answered my question and said that I need to make sure that if I give any advice on my blog that people know that I am not a lawyer or a doctor, that I am 11 years old, and that I am not a "professional."
I want my blog to help people realize that everyone is different and that they do not have to copy someone else to look, talk, or act a particular way. What you CAN change is your attitude and make it positive!
I don't want people to have to take shots like me; I want everyone to just be who THEY are. I want people to feel safe; not scared or nervous about being themselves. DON'T CHANGE WHO YOU ARE. YOU ARE A SPECTACULAR PERSON. . . SERIOUSLY!
I submitted a video to the news station that I have Growth Hormone Deficiency and that I started a blog to inspire people to accept themselves for who they are and not be afraid to be unique. I was then told they would show my video on TV! I had a legal question for them, which was whether I was able to give advice on my blog to people who write to me?
KTLA 5 News has a show called "Legal Smart" and the lawyer on the show is Alison Triessl. She answered my question and said that I need to make sure that if I give any advice on my blog that people know that I am not a lawyer or a doctor, that I am 11 years old, and that I am not a "professional."
I want my blog to help people realize that everyone is different and that they do not have to copy someone else to look, talk, or act a particular way. What you CAN change is your attitude and make it positive!
I don't want people to have to take shots like me; I want everyone to just be who THEY are. I want people to feel safe; not scared or nervous about being themselves. DON'T CHANGE WHO YOU ARE. YOU ARE A SPECTACULAR PERSON. . . SERIOUSLY!
Sunday, November 1, 2015
"Different" from the Group
A blog from Mom:
I learn so much about Samantha when she writes. Thus far she has asked me to sit with her when she writes a blog, probably for moral support and to provide her feedback about the subject matter about which she has selected to write. Tonight she wrote about feeling like an outsider; and her blog tonight hit a part of my heart which now aches.
When I look back at the start of our experience, I recall simply looking straight ahead at what blood testing needed to be done, what bone-age scans I needed to schedule, which doctors were recommended in the field of endocrinology, and worrying about whether Samantha's insurance company would cover the enormous expense of growth hormone therapy (and if so, what my out-of-pocket expenses would be until her insurance would cover it.) I did not, or did not want to, think in great detail about the psychological effects undergoing growth hormone therapy would have upon my daughter. Yes, there are physical and psychological effects upon a person who does not take growth hormone therapy, and there are also different yet critical effects in taking this treatment as well. As we travel down this road, I learn more and more how Samantha is affected, both positively and how she struggles.
Samantha has a bright and shining personality who has a positive attitude and welcomes each and every day with a smile. She isn't afraid to be "Samantha"; that is the only way I can describe her. Those who know her well, both children and adults, I am confident would agree.
We all have times in our lives when we feel like outsiders. Samantha has had these same experiences before starting growth hormone therapy; what 11 year-old child hasn't. Once she began her tests for growth hormone deficiency and her treatment, her sense of being different from everyone she knows was heightened. Samantha rarely discusses it in a conversation; however, she does when she writes her blogs.
I am beyond thankful and impressed that Samantha has chosen to take what could be a negative experience and has made it one in which she is learning, growing, and helping other children and their families.
Dear Samantha,
We are here to support you as you fight the "good fight" every single day as you never, ever, give up on something which you feel is worthwhile. Keep doing what you are doing with all the grace and personal style only you can give. I know you enjoy seeing that others have viewed your blogs, and they have in over ten different countries! Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself. Allow yourself to be disappointed and to have a "bad day." In only 4 months you have already won this fight. You will reach your own stars.
Your dad, brother and I love you more than you know,
Mom xoxo
I learn so much about Samantha when she writes. Thus far she has asked me to sit with her when she writes a blog, probably for moral support and to provide her feedback about the subject matter about which she has selected to write. Tonight she wrote about feeling like an outsider; and her blog tonight hit a part of my heart which now aches.
When I look back at the start of our experience, I recall simply looking straight ahead at what blood testing needed to be done, what bone-age scans I needed to schedule, which doctors were recommended in the field of endocrinology, and worrying about whether Samantha's insurance company would cover the enormous expense of growth hormone therapy (and if so, what my out-of-pocket expenses would be until her insurance would cover it.) I did not, or did not want to, think in great detail about the psychological effects undergoing growth hormone therapy would have upon my daughter. Yes, there are physical and psychological effects upon a person who does not take growth hormone therapy, and there are also different yet critical effects in taking this treatment as well. As we travel down this road, I learn more and more how Samantha is affected, both positively and how she struggles.
Samantha has a bright and shining personality who has a positive attitude and welcomes each and every day with a smile. She isn't afraid to be "Samantha"; that is the only way I can describe her. Those who know her well, both children and adults, I am confident would agree.
We all have times in our lives when we feel like outsiders. Samantha has had these same experiences before starting growth hormone therapy; what 11 year-old child hasn't. Once she began her tests for growth hormone deficiency and her treatment, her sense of being different from everyone she knows was heightened. Samantha rarely discusses it in a conversation; however, she does when she writes her blogs.
I am beyond thankful and impressed that Samantha has chosen to take what could be a negative experience and has made it one in which she is learning, growing, and helping other children and their families.
Dear Samantha,
We are here to support you as you fight the "good fight" every single day as you never, ever, give up on something which you feel is worthwhile. Keep doing what you are doing with all the grace and personal style only you can give. I know you enjoy seeing that others have viewed your blogs, and they have in over ten different countries! Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself. Allow yourself to be disappointed and to have a "bad day." In only 4 months you have already won this fight. You will reach your own stars.
Your dad, brother and I love you more than you know,
Mom xoxo
Meeting a New Friend
Today I met a new friend. I was introduced to her by my mom and she was very nice. We went to CPK for lunch and then to my brother's baseball game. The most important part was that I felt like I made her happy. I made a friend who takes shots. This is my first friend who takes shots just like me.
Trust me, sometimes I feel left out. Sometimes I feel like I am the only person in the world who does this. I feel like this will affect my life when I grow up, and it will, but not in a bad way. I try to think of the positives and not the negatives. If there is someone who has growth hormone deficiency and is reading my blogs: I know how you feel.
I hope those who are reading my blogs will post comments because I would like to know if anyone who is reading my blogs has growth hormone deficiency and whether they are taking shots or not. People can also email me at seriouslysamanthag@gmail.com.
I feel like I am making a difference because I meet new people every day and those who are reading my blogs get to know someone who has growth hormone deficiency.
Trust me, sometimes I feel left out. Sometimes I feel like I am the only person in the world who does this. I feel like this will affect my life when I grow up, and it will, but not in a bad way. I try to think of the positives and not the negatives. If there is someone who has growth hormone deficiency and is reading my blogs: I know how you feel.
I hope those who are reading my blogs will post comments because I would like to know if anyone who is reading my blogs has growth hormone deficiency and whether they are taking shots or not. People can also email me at seriouslysamanthag@gmail.com.
I feel like I am making a difference because I meet new people every day and those who are reading my blogs get to know someone who has growth hormone deficiency.
120
Yesterday was 120th day. I finally feel that I am responsible enough to give myself my shots on my own without adult supervision. Over the last four months I feel that I have become more mature. I am one of those kids who still needs her mom, but I feel safe being who I am. To all those people out there who take shots: it was scary at first, but I am telling you not to be scared. Think about things you like, things that make you most happy. When I put my shot in my stomach, I think about pink fluffy unicorns!
Be who you are; don't change who you are on the inside.
P.S. I already know what I will do on my 200th day.
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